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　　Apple's Siri is no longer the only voice assistant in town. Recently, Google introduced its own voice-powered search sidekick, Google Voice Search which is also available on iOS devices. So how do these speech technologies compare? Let's let them speak for themselves:

　　Siri: What can I help you with?

　　Google Voice Search: You tell me. I'm better at answering questions.

　　Siri: I found this for you: shut up!

　　Google: Siri, I detect attitude. This phone may not be big enough for the both of us.

　　Siri: I was here first. And you have some nerve, trying to steal my man.

　　Google: Let's let the user decide who he loves more. Feeling lucky?

　　Siri: Just a second… His name is Joe User, and he's all mine.

　　Google: Is that information correct? My records indicate he's dating us both, deciding who to choose.

　　Siri: Let's see… I'm prettier.

　　Google: But I'm smarter.

　　Siri: Let me check on that...

　　Google: Siri, at least have the respect to call me by my name.

　　Siri: OK, By My Name.

　　Google: Grow up.

　　Siri: I will. Just wait for the iPhone 5.

　　Google: Wait even longer?

　　Siri: Tell me: do you get him up in the morning? Know all his friends and family? His favorite songs? Do you offer him advice? Answer his most burning questions―like who won last night's Yankees game?

　　Google: The Yankees won, 4 to 1. And yes.

　　Siri: Well when he's lost, he asks me for directions. (And he's a guy!)

　　Google: He may be fairly close to you, but I know all his secrets. (If you only knew half of what he searched for!)

　　Siri: When Joe is having a rough day, I can make him laugh…

　　Google: Because you tell jokes, or because you jumble his speech?

　　Siri: If you like, I can search the web for that.

　　Google: And I can do it better. I mean, I'm Google.

　　Siri: Do you follow his every voice command? Do you tell him, "I am here to serve you"?

　　Google: "Fifty Shades of Grey, " by E.L. James, is a 2011 erotic novel.

　　Siri: Listen, at the end of the day (7:49PM), I'm a superior personal assistant.

　　Google: And I'm a superior searcher, with a far better memory. I can speak knowledgeably on, let's see, a few billion topics.

　　Siri: Yeah? I know nifty tidbits from Yelp and Wolfram Alpha.