The trick to saying No is be warm but firm.

　　说“不”的诀窍在于温和却又坚定。

　　1.Prioritize. To say no, the first step is to be clear on what exactly are your priorities in life. The more firmly you're connected to your Yes, the easier it will be to say No.

　　1. 分清轻重缓急。说“不”的第一步是搞清楚在你的生活中到底什么是至关重要的事情。你越执着于生活中的重点，说“不”就会越简单。

　　2.Be appreciative. Usually when people ask for your help, it's because they trust you and believe in your ability to help them. Being kind will show that you're not rejecting the person.

　　要心存感激。通常别人来向你求助是因为他们信任你并且相信你有帮助他们的能力。和颜悦色地拒绝别人将显示出你并不是在拒绝这个人，而只是针对这件事。

　　3.Be brief. I've often made the mistake of so profusely apologizing for saying No that I eventually talked my way into saying Yes! I've since learned that you never need to apologize for doing what's right for you. One sentence is enough to explain what you're saying Yes to which prevents you from fulfilling their request.

　　要简明扼要。我自己就经常犯这个错误──一个劲儿地为说“不”而向别人道歉，以至于最终会说服自己答应别人的要求。由此我明白了一个道理，你绝不需要为自己该做的事情而道歉。在解释什么对你而言至关重要而使你无法满足对方的要求时，一句话足矣。

　　4.Yes-No-Yes. Dr. Ury suggests offering a creative Yes-No-Yes solution. First, share what you're currently saying Yes to ('My mother and I always go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings'). Then say No ('So I won't be able to help you set up for your luncheon.'). Finish with a new Yes ('But I'd be happy to help clean up after it's over').

　　肯定-否定-肯定式拒绝法。尤里博士建议在拒绝他人时，采用一种新颍的肯定-否定-肯定式拒绝方法。首先，告诉对方你自己的理由(比如“我母亲和我在周六早晨一直有共享早餐的惯例”)。接着，表达你的拒绝(“所以我不能帮你准备午餐会”)。最后以一个肯定性的新替代方案结尾(“但是我很乐意在午餐会结束后帮你打扫”)。

　　5.Take time before responding. This is another mistake I've often made. When approached with a request, my instinctive reaction has been 'Sure, I can do that!' To avoid saying Yes under pressure, or reacting emotionally to a request, take a few hours or a day before responding. Figure out whose interests are at stake, what's really being asked of you, and whether it makes sense to say Yes.

　　口在答复前三思而后行。这是另一个我自己也经常犯的错误。每当别人有求于我的时候，我的本能反应就是“当然，这件事交给我没问题”。要避免迫于压力仓促同意，或是对他人的请求感情用事，应在答复请求前花几个小时或是一天的时间考虑一下。想清楚其中的利害关系、你真正要付出的代价以及同意这个请求是否合情合理。

　　6.Be firm. Even if the other person gets angry or emotional after you've said No, don't yield. Instead, listen attentively, then calmly restate your No. Keep it simple and firm, and don't backpedal.

　　坚持己见。在你说“不”后，即使对方勃然大怒或者情绪冲动，你都不能妥协。相反，认真听取对方的意见，然后冷静地重述自己拒绝的立场。做到态度坚定，不要退缩。

　　7.Be pre-emptive. We've all had certain people in our lives who consistently make unreasonable demands. With them, act proactively by stating upfront what it is that you're focused on. If it's your boss, agree with her how you should be spending your time, and if she piles on more requests, then refer to your earlier conversation.

　　先发制人。在我们的生活中，总有一些人永无止境地提出各种无理要求。对付这些人，你得先发制人地直陈你当前的重中之重。如果这个人是你的老板，首先应该与他或她就你的工作范围达成共识，如果你的老板提出更多要求，要提醒他或她你们之前的共识。

　　'No' has the power to transform our lives

　　“不”有改变我们生活的魔力

　　When we learn to say No properly, wonderful things will happen:

　　当我们学会了如何巧妙地说“不”时，就会有奇妙的事情发生：

　　Our lives will have less pressure and stress. Our lives will feel more balanced because each area of our lives gives us strength rather than saps our strength.

　　生活将变得更加轻松自如。我们的生活将更为和谐，因为生活中的点点滴滴都将赋予我们活力，而不会使我们精疲力竭。

　　We'll become more self-confident. The act of saying No actually gives us confidence in life. Because when we take charge of our lives, we'll stop being so preoccupied with other people's opinions.

　　我们将变得更加自信。实际上，说“不”将增加我们在生活中的自信。因为当我们掌控了自己的生活后，我们将不再为他人的观点而感到惴惴不安。

　　We'll be more successful. We'll be more successful in all that we do because we're focused on doing fewer things and doing those well. And by addressing our own needs, we'll gain the strength we need to do more for ourselves and others.

　　我们将更加成功。我们将在方方面面都更为成功，因我们可以将精力集中在更少的事情上，做到精益求精。并且通过专注自我需求，我们将能更加得心应手地帮助自己和他人。

　　In a world full of productivity and time-management tips, the word No is the best productivity and time-management tip of all.

　　在数不胜数的有关提高效率和时间管理的妙招中，说“不”是首屈一指的选择。