BEC商务英语写作：改写备忘录

Look at the memo below and decide how it can be improved; Rewrite it in your own words; When you've done this, compare your rewritten memo with the model in next piece.

MEMORANDUM

To: All members of staff, Northern Branch.

From: K.L.J.

Date: 5 December 20--

As you know, one of the reason for the introduction of PCs in Northern Branch was to provide us with feeback before we decide whether to install PCs in other departments. The Board has asked me to submit a report on your experiences by the end of this week. I talked to some of you informally about this last month. During my brief visit I noticed a junior member of staff playing some kind of computer game in the lunch hour, and a senior manager told me that he used his for writing letters - a job for a secretary, surely? So that I can compile a full report, I would like everyone to let me know what thay personally use the PC for, what software they use and how long per day they spend actually using it. It would also be useful to find out how their PC has not come up to expertations, and any unanticipated uses they have found for their PC, so that others can benefit from your experience.

This is the model for the rewritten memo:

MEMORANDUM

To: All member of staff, Northern Branch

From: K.L.J.

Date: 5 December 20--

Subject: PERSONAL COMPUTERS

The board urgently requires feeback on our experience with PCs in Northern Branch. I need to know, for my report:

1. What you personally use your PC for and your reasons for doing this. If you are doing work that was formally done by other staff, please justify this.

2. What software you use. Please name the programs.

3. How many hours per day you spend actually using it.

4. How your PC has not come up to your expectations.

5. What unanticipated uses you have found for your PC, that others may want to share.

Please FAX this information directly to me by 5p.m. on WEDNESDAY 7 December.

If you have any queries, please contact my assistant, Jane Simmonds, who will be visiting you on Tuesday, 6 December. Thank you for your help.