对很多中国托福考生来说,写作实际上是个翻译过程,如何把思想中的中文转化成现实中的英文是托福基础写作最关心的问题,也是学生们首要应该解决的问题。但是我们的学生受思维定式的影响,如果在新托福写作中套汉语思维,就是中式化英语的表现。这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘。所以考生在托福写作备考时,要注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别,最重要的一点是托福写作应避免中式英文。
1、Original: If we agree to say that school offersus the best book knowledge acquisition then oursociety offers us the best surviving techniques in ahard way.
Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of bookknowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “streetsmarts”.
Agree to say that表达中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的最好方法)更为恰当 ,同样后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring commonsense,加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的托福词汇增添色彩。
2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improvetheir role as a mother, wife and daughter.
Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in orderto improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化,不符合英语的表述,应该为studying,educating themselves。除了词语表达,此句中还存在其他问题,如名词单复数的使用:不是提高他们的角色,而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。
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